Not another garden ramble. How do you let go of negativity?

Not another garden ramble.....But, How do you let go of negativity?

We are living in an era of hate, divisiveness, pain and terrible fear. Yes, I am talking about the United States's presidential election year. We are literally bombarded by signs of fear, hatred and racial divisiveness wherever we are, drive or walk. It's Everywhere. It is all over social media, particularly X (formerly Twitter) and TikTok, which is now a cesspool for hatred and the spread of fear. 

Let me be clear.  I do not care what your political affiliation is, who your candidate is, or candidates are, and I don't care what your beliefs are about politics. My mother raised me to believe that politics, like religion, is a personal matter, and your Vote is your Voice. Neither side is letting that be the case. 

I am flustered that we are divided between red, blue and purple states. My new state is a purple state, where democrats live primarily in cities and republicans live primarily in the country. I don't really want to know people's political affiliations. I like people for who they are, not for their affiliations.  That, however, can be problematic at best. For example, how do I find common ground with someone who votes to have my husband and I persecuted? How do I find common ground with someone who does not believe women and their doctors should have the only "say" in how women are treated medically?  How do I find common ground with someone who thinks my African American and Mexican friends should be placed in a caste or worse, deported, even if they are naturalized American citizens?  Finally, how can I find common ground with someone who believes and votes to have one religion dominant over all other religions, despite the 1978 Freedom of Religion Act? 

There are rare exceptions. Part of my family is very republican and believes in much of what I wrote above, but not all. That's where we find mutual respect and get along. It is work, but we maintain that mutual respect and do not add those beliefs to our conversations. Personally, that is how I think all conversations should be. 

The big question I am posing is this:  How do I let go of the constant influx of negativity?  It does not have to be politically charged negativity. It could be personal, familial, social and otherwise. Let me tell you what I already do to try to not get invested in the negativity.  I scroll passed negative posts. I block haters posting hate just to campaign for their leader. I block without reading or listening to 95% of the post; just enough to get the gist. I am an equal opportunity blocker, if you know what I mean. I have been so fortunate, here, to not have run into a zealous "Karen" or "Ken". Thank goodness, but, you cannot go on any social media or news platform without seeing hate-filled rants repeatedly. Prayer, meditation and watching steaming shows help me. But it is not enough. 

                                                                        

My mental health is more important to me than any of that horrible garbage. With 23 days till the election, as of this post's original writing, I have felt overwhelmed.   It is impossible to go on to any platform without being assaulted by negativity and disinformation any time of the day and night. It has caused me to have such  anxiety inside that I have lost days of sleep; when you count up the hours I have lost over it. Not to mention, I have never felt neck and shoulder pains so severely ever before, and headaches are a daily thing.

It is wrong that these are my new normal? 

What would you do to let go of such negativity?

 At the time of this writing, it seemed like the start of a plan to pull myself out of that atmosphere of extreme negativity that wore on my soul had been formulted. But what may work for me, may not work for ANYONE else!  Although I posted this, I felt that I am not "big knowledge guy" to borrow a "Buffyism", and I needed to talk to my besties, and that, I did. With their permission, I am going to share their thoughts on how they rid themselves of such negativity. We'll call them BFF1 and BFF2.  

At the time of this writing, it seemed like the start of a plan to pull myself out of that atmosphere of extreme negativity that wore on my soul. But what may work for me, may not work for ANYONE else!  Although I posted this, I felt that I am not "big knowledge guy" to borrow a "Buffyism", and I needed to talk to my besties, and that, I did. With their permission, I am going to share their thoughts on how they rid themselves of such negativity. We'll call them BFF1 and BFF2. 

BFF1 stated, for starters:  "With the upcoming elections, I am hopeful that we will see change again."  Having said that, she continued: "Even when we get change, it doesn't mean that change will happen, as the opposing party will not allow change to occur."  (Author's note:  We saw this immensely during the Obama Administration.)  BFF1 says that to stay sane:  "I pray. I pray for peace. I pray for unity, understanding [and] that whoever is in power when all is said and done, will make the best decisions for all of us and not some of us."  Don't we All hope and pray for that fairness? 

Even with that mind frame, BFF1 said: "I also try to make sure that I am prepared for whatever happens. I don't depend on anyone else to have power over me. My destiny is mine."  That has been my train of thought for myself, but not stated quite so eloquently. I love what BFF1 had to say next.  Now, does she worry?  "Heck yes, I do! But as the Serenity Prayer states: 'Accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. Wisdom to know the difference'."  She says that when she reminds herself of this, it puts things into perspective. "It works for me", she stated.   

I hope that helps some or all of you out there struggling with all of this negative atmosphere as I do. 

Next, BFF2 had some differing but important views about avoiding and ridding herself of negativity. She states that her mom is very liberal and goes into a rant any chance she gets (perhaps to let off steam, as well?) about the political negativity, divisiveness, and more. BFF2 states that she agrees with her mom and her thoughts about it, but as she put it:  "[But] I remind myself that I can only control me and by voting I know it well be ok."  I feel that way, too.  My friends are so eloquent in their thinking.  As I mentioned above, my mother taught me that my vote is my voice. BFF2 feels the same.  When you vote, you have done your civic duty, you have done your part.  

BFF2 explained that her "Papa always said: 'If you want to keep your friends, don't talk politics and religion, so I don't.' When I am around (another part of) the family, I remove myself from the room where the chatter is."  She also stated that she often tries to skip reading the news.....unless it's something like a law (local) that will benefit or not. I don't discuss {politics nor religion, author's clarification} and I only have a few work friends on social media and have never seen any political posts."

In order to stay well away from people who do post negative posts consistently, BFF2 stated she has unfriended "quite a few people who have very strong views that I don't align with", and she became sick of it. She stated she tries to remind herself that "I can't change them and they will never try to sway me."

Physically, BFF2 told me she walks two miles a day, one mile at lunch and one in the evening with her fiance. 

"We only have a few more weeks and hopefully all this craziness will subside", BFF2 concluded.  I concur!!!

This author does not own the rights to the photo above. 

Okay, problem. I know I am about to be a hypocrite when I tell you my biggest fear. If the election does not go "my way", then what?  

 I wonder what a crystal ball would tell me to do?

Since talking with my besties, I realize my decision to avoid social media was not a bad idea, but not exactly practical for my blogs, especially my food blog. I can scroll, I can delete, I can avoid reading and listening to propaganda and the back-and-forth arguing. The way I see it, both sides are set. Neither side can do Anything to change each other's minds, and continuing full steam ahead to try to do so is mute. It has made quite a bit of difference.  Learning from my friends that I am in charge of me, my vote is my voice, I am ok being me, overly sensitive as I am. And that sensitivity is ok. It's just me.  

What are You thinking about this?  How do you disengage from it all?  .Prayer, meditation and watching steaming shows help me

I'd love to hear from you!  I appreciate your feedback. 

With that, take care and enjoy the changing season. It sure if beautiful out there.  

~ Martin